Nwoye, my son? Ezinma, my daughter?

I am a great man. I had three wives and eight children. There are two children who I worried and like the most in deep of my heart. 

Nwoye, you are my eldest son. I put my hope on you to become a great farmer and man like me, a man who is enthusiastic and earnest in all of men tasks and does not afraid of blood. However, you like to listen to folktales told by your mother instead of the bloody war stories told by me. I do want want you to become like your grandfather who I hated the most. Thanks to Ikemefuna as when he comes to live with this family, you begin taking on masculine tasks you normally would not perform in an attempt to emulate Ikemefuna. As I had always wanted you to have a proper independence of thought and action, I am very glad when I see your changes. 

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Lonely Nwoye after the death of Ikemefuna

Despite of that, I wish that you will totally have the tendencies that Ikemefuna has. I still remember when I asked you and Ikemefuna to prepare the yams and found faults with your efforts; I became so angry and shouted at you. “Do you think you are cutting up yams for cooking? If you put another yam of this size, I shall break your jaw. You think you are still a child. I began to farm at your age. I will not have a son who cannot hold up his head in the gathering of the clan. I would sooner strangle him with my own hands.” I yelled. This is because I wanted you to grow into a tough man capable of running my household when I was dead and gone to join my ancestors. Thus, I raise you through violence, anger, and authority. Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever. Since Ikemefuna is dead, you changed. The relationship between you and me damaged.

Much later in Mbata, when my cousin told me about your conversion into Christian, I really get a terrible heart attack. Why you choose a path which is nontraditional to your culture? When I saw you at that day, I cannot control myself and choke you by the neck, demanding to know where you have been and started to hit you. When Uchendu ordered me to let go of you, you walked away and never return. in desperately anger, I said to the others, “Now he is no longer my son or your brother. I will only have a son who is a man, who will hold his head up among my people.” You are such a coward and betrayer and do not let me see your face anymore. I will kill you at that moment!

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my lovely daughter

Ezinma, you are the eldest daughter and the only child of Ekwefi. The town considers you to be an ogbanje child – one who goes through many cycles of being born, dying, and reentering her mother’s womb. In order to break your connection to the ogbanje world, you are forced to locate your iyi-uwa. It was quite a hard time for all of us. I have loved you so dearly since you came that it has been on my mind which I wished you to become a boy. You often act in a bolder manner than the other children. You are always the one who understands me. For example, when I was depressed in the death of Ikemefuna, you brought me my evening meals and told me that I must finished everything. At that moment, I strongly sense your caring towards me and I would be happier if you are a boy as you have the ‘right spirit’. When Ekwefi awaked me very early in one morning and told me that you were dying. I quickly ran to the hut and checked over you. Luckily, you were just has a fever and without any hesitation, I went out to collect the medicine. After that, I cured you and stay beside you. I must make sure that you are healthy. Another incidence which makes me so sorry about you is when Chielo carried you, made her rounds of the nine villages and entered the Oracle’s cave. I decided to follow you from behind, stay awaked for whole night and swear to myself that I must protect you as hard as I could. 

Then, after the seven years of exile, you have grown up to become a beautiful woman like your mother when she was young. You are known as ‘Crystal of Beauty’. I still regret that you are a girl. However, I wished you to marry with Unuofia’s man. This is due to my title and position in the community after I came back to my motherland. You will attract the attention of powerful men and thus will increase my status in my fatherland. You are still so understandable that you consented and even persuaded your sister to postpone her marriage as well. I feel very grateful. 

I am so proud of myself to have you as my daughter but if I had another lifetime, I wish you will become my son and never had Nwoye in my life.